Welcome to Night Vale: beautifully written sentences that make you think, manages to find the perfect balance between creepy and comforting, incredibly quotable

Also Welcome to Night Vale:

dajo42:

dajo42:

i couldnt survive in a sitcom

so many characters are just dicks for absolutely no reason and i would. simply have to punch them. the way people treat each other in like every single sitcom makes me so angry and i would be on full punch mode all the time and go to comedy jail

I need you to know that I would emphatically and without question pay real human dollars to watch a season of ‘Friends’ where you appear to routinely beat the shit out of Ross Geller

TAZ Arcs as John Mulaney Quotes

maderefugesafe:

Here There Be Gerblins: This might as well happen. Adult life is already so God damn weird.

Murder on the Rockport Limited: “I’ll tell you what we’ll do! We’ll draw chalk around where the body is. That way we’ll know where it was…”

Petals to the Metal: “I hear you honking and I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing. I don’t like that I’m in that lane either, and I sure would like to get out of it!”

The Crystal Kingdom: “Is it an “E” or is it a “3”? That’s up to ye. The passwords of past you’ve correctly guessed, but now it’s time for the robot test!”

The Eleventh Hour: “All right, well, what do they do with the time machine?” “Well, now I’m embarrassed to say.“

The Suffering Game: And I go: “Why are you doing this to me?” and they go: “Because we’re Delta Airlines and life is a fucking nightmare!”

The Stolen Century: “All right, there’s a Norwegian Cruise Line leaving for Martinique. Here’s my plan: you and me get very dressed up, including hats, and then we wave handkerchiefs at it until it disappears over the horizon.”

Story and Song: You’re a 22-year-old temp, and you’re so hungover, and you just wanna die every day. And then that happens in front of you, and I don’t know, gives you hope?

haze256:

such-justice-wow:

rafawriter:

murdercore-powerfuneral:

goulashnikov-concern:

captain-price-official:

Demonstration of the X27 color NVGs

Color what?

That’s the point. These are artificial colors, most night vision systems are monochrome, which takes away a lot of detail, specially when you want to use them to read anything, like that road sign.

Holy fuck thats night time

Hold my pancakes THIS IS NIGHTTIME??!?

one-time-i-dreamt:

one-time-i-dreamt:

one-time-i-dreamt:

coccineusrosso:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I’ve been a changed person since I found out that all of Santa’s reindeer are gals

they’re wHAT NOW

gals, theY’RE GALS

male reindeer shed their antlers at the end of mating season (early December), while females keep theirs during the winter

and what do Santa’s reindeer have?

ANTLERS

I

pixalry:

The Black Monarch’s Ghost – Created by Ben Turner

Here is the original box cover, for nostalgia’s sake.

qveenmab:

ever wondered who you’d be in a shakespeare play? fear not, i made a shakespearean character generator!!!

(please put in the tags what you got, i’m curious)

tinysaurus-rex:

thehotgirlproject:

thevelvetpelican:

I would like to adopt another parrot someday, but I think it would be very strange to adopt something older than you. Parrots can live to be 60+, so I could someday be the guardian of an animal who lived a few decades before I was even born and that’s just weird.

I don’t think I have the authority. By default, that bird should be my guardian.

I am totally down for my next rescue to be older than me cuz frankly I need the life advice

My friend works at a pet store and while they don’t sell parrots, they do board and occasionally take in rescues and adopt them out. Well one of the birds they were boarding for a month was a 60+ year old scarlet macaw who knew one phrase besides occasionally coughing like an old man. She would say it on cue whenever a customer approached her and an employee told them how old she was. She would stop what she was doing, lean in close, her eyes pinning wildly, in a raspy whisper she would utter, “I was there when it happened.”