so, despite my casual typing style, i actually really care about and like the details of grammar. i want to make a series of english lessons. i might just do this one, but oh well.
when do you say “x and i” vs “x and me”? it’s actually quite simple. just take out the “x and”, and see if it makes sense. you would say “i went to the store”, so you would say “x and i went to the store”. you would say “she helped me”, so you would say “she helped x and me”.
the same rule applies if you’re using a pronoun for the other person. “he went to the store” -> “he and i went to the store”. “she helped me” -> “she helped him and me”.
the slightly more complex explanation is the difference between objects and subjects. the object of a sentence is the thing doing the action. in the sentence “i went to the store”, the object is “i”. objective pronouns are i/he/she/they. the subject is the recipient of the action. in the sentence “she helped me,” the subject is “me”. subjective pronouns are me/her/him/them.
i hope this makes sense! please let me know if you have any grammar-related questions.
This is useful for writing and other formal situations, and I’m coming from a place of being interested in the why. So what follows is not a criticism in any way.
The reason why these prescriptive rules (what grammarians say is right and wrong) are so tough to remember and get right 100% of the time is because they’re at odds with our descriptive rules (your internal sense of what is and isn’t correct that you learn when you learn to talk). For an example, “The dog me the ball to throw loves” is not good English grammar by either standard, although it might be in other languages that put things in a different order. Meanwhile “You coming with?” isn’t something you’d see recommended in a style guide, but real English speakers say it all the time.
So what do our descriptive rules say about this bit of grammar?
The default first person singular pronoun is me. Not I.
Compound noun phrases are weird. It’s been a while since I learned about this, but they’re weird. If I weren’t on mobile I’d try to link an explanation.
So what does this mean? From a linguistic perspective, it means that when someone says “Jim and me went to the movies” it’s totally fine and expected! It also means that when someone says “the book was given to Jim and I” it’s almost certainly hypercorrection from years of being taught not to use “Jim and me” as the subject of a sentence.
that’s an excellent point! the rules for grammar are different in casual conversation. like, if i was writing an essay, i would have a completely different typing style. english is weird and you can’t always be thinking about what’s proper.
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