Things overheard at my school

publicschoolstories:

• “meals on wheels won’t text me back”
• “I think my wife likes me back, what do I do?”
• “I haven’t had it in for ages”
• “run on sentences are the devil”
• “I am not a cat Shaun” – senior english teacher
• “it’s basically witchcraft” (about math)
• “I’ve watched Australian survivor for three days instead of studying for this test”
• person 1: “they’re just small and weird”
  person 2: “you’re small and weird but you don’t see me complaining”
• “if you’re ace you don’t like fucking anybody, if you’re aro you don’t fucking like anybody”
• “the square root of life is nothing”
• “wait! you guys don’t know how to hotwire a car??!!??“  
• “life skill 1: get rid of your feelings
  life skill 2: hotwire a fucking tractor
  okay you’re good to go”
• “handholding is my kink, not like a sexual kink, just my kink in life”
• “I didn’t draw mario as an answer this time so I’d say that test was a success” this was about an advanced math test
• “whoever tells you that you can’t do 5 weeks of research and write a 1500 word, perfectly referenced, essay in one day is a fucking liar”
• a group i sit with was having an argument about fruit and vegetables and one dude ranted about how terrible bananas were for the next half hour